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Having a Social Life When
You Have Small Children
My
life is pretty full, or at least I thought so. I was
having a discussion a few weeks ago, about having
friends, hanging out, and what we do for fun. It
occurred to me that we don't have any friends, at least
not the kind we hang out and have barbecues with or go
out to dinner with. We have family that we hang out
with, and friends that we work with. We don't go
anywhere but to the grocery store and occasionally out
to eat, as a family.
I was stunned. While I've never been a social butterfly,
I used to go out with my friends; we had dinner parties,
and did the things all couples do. When did it stop? Oh
yeah, when I got pregnant, lol. I don't exactly miss it,
but at the same time, it would be nice to go shopping
with friends or out to eat with another couple
occasionally. My kids could benefit from having
relationships with kids that aren't related to us,
surely. So, I've set out to create a life outside our
home.
Meeting new people can be hard. Sure, it's easy enough
to strike up a conversation with a stranger, but very
hard to make new, real friends. You can't come across as
pushy or needy, because then they think you're a
stalker, lol. But you can create situations where you
get to know others and then form those kinds of bonds
that lead to lasting friendships.
Here are some things you can do:
- Get out of the house!!! Go to
Church, join the YMCA, take your kids to the park,
take your kids bowling, sign the kids up for
community sports like soccer, baseball, football, or
even swimming and tennis lessons. Getting out of
your house and putting yourself in situations where
you can talk to people starts the ball rolling. You
can't do these things just once though. In order to
form relationships, you have to keep showing up.
- Volunteer. It's a great
learning experience for your children, makes you
feel good inside and puts you in a position to make
friends. Some things/places to volunteer: at school,
nursing homes, community clean up projects,
community sports teams and events and animal
shelters. Check with your local community center for
other places where your services might be needed.
- Invite one of your new
acquaintances to lunch, or some of your kid's new
team mates or park friends for a play date. You and
the other moms can chat and the kids can enjoy each
other.
- Check out stay at home mom
groups or play groups in your area. Some places to
go to find these are MOPS, International, MomsClub
international, and Meetup.com.
- Take your kids to the
library!! Most public libraries offer free story
time. Ours did story time, had an arts and crafts
session, and followed by snacks, every Tuesday. It
was a great place to meet other moms.
Keep in mind, you have to follow up. When you meet
these new people, creating a lasting friendship with
them takes time and EFFORT. Ask them what they do for
fun, places they like to go, things they like to do.
Find some common ground and build on it. Most
importantly, get out there and HAVE FUN!!
_____________________________________
Sonya Smith runs two
home businesses, loves to write, and share tips with
others working from home while chasing after her 3
children. You may visit her at her blog,
http://sonyareads.blogspot.com.
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